Football is Back, Please Don't Vomit on My Shoes

For those of you who have been living under a rock, the high school and college football seasons are now underway in most parts of the country, with the NFL soon to follow. The taunting and name-calling between rivals is heating up, and arrests for both players and fans are expected to spike by Sunday morning.
In my experience, it always takes a few weeks for everyone to get their "beer legs" back, so you can expect a lot of amateur and professional drunks to be in the stands. In most cases they'll just be annoying, but occasionally they'll get out-of-hand, threaten to kick some big guy's ass (lucky for them he'll be sober and laugh it off) and pass out--or puke--on some unsuspecting girl sitting in front of them. They won't remember a thing the next day, but the bruises that they don't remember getting will tell everyone the story back at work on Monday!
So, let's raise a plastic cup of $10 beer and salute everyone who won't sit down and stop blocking our view of the game!